Preferences
Your choices, your likes, your dislikes - all those personal preferences that make you who you are. Your characteristics.
We build these up in our entire life. The dishes we love to eat, the songs we love to hear, to movies we love to watch, the books we love to read... Generally, they seem inconsequential. We never stop to wonder how much they mean to us.
Of course, there are bigger things too... The people we love, the places we are comfortable at, the work we do (whether we love it or hate it).
All this seems to be a jumble of thoughts, right? Is there a point to this post?
Yes. The very first sentence of this post - they make us who we are! These choices, preferences, quirks - whatever you want to call them - they are a part of us.
They do change over time, of course. Some get added, some removed. These changes - some happen subconsciously. But, some we change intentionally!
Yes, sometimes, we intentionally, against our own better judgement, go out of our way to change our habits. Mostly (hopefully) it is inconsequential things. Like changing a perfume because your roommate didn't like roses. Or, the brand of orange juice, because your sibling preferred another.
But, it's the other times that hurt! The times when you feel like you are cutting a part of yourself out. Times when it feels like you are shutting a small bit of yourself up in a jar somewhere. Times when you feel like you are killing a bit of yourself, by giving up something you love, for someone you love!
Love - the beginning of all problems, and the solution to them too. And, I don't just mean it in the "couple"-ey sense..
Out of love your parents, you may stop yourself from going on a sky-diving expedition (or something else that you would love to try). You stop yourself because it makes them worry. And, you love them so you don't want them to worry.
Out of love for your younger sibling, you stop yourself from being reckless (as you would like to at times) or from buying some stupid expensive things. In this case, you stop yourself because you worry. You worry about setting a bad example.
There are many instances. We do this our entire life. Stop ourselves. Kill some desires. Make some small sacrifices, and, some big ones.
But, it isn't unrequited. You know they'd do the same for you... They do do the same for you!
So, why do we hurt so bad when we give something up? I remember one time.. I wanted to go out, but, my mom was adamant that I don't because I had exams coming up. After a lot of argument, I gave in. I went to my room to study. She came in and said, "But, you are upset.", and, I yelled, "I can't stop myself from "feeling", can I?"
That's the problem.. In our heads, we know that they mean the best for us. But, we can't stop ourselves from "feeling" hurt.
All I can say is, the next time I am hurting over giving something up, I will try to remember that the other person has probably given up a lot of things for me too. To get me where I am today!
We build these up in our entire life. The dishes we love to eat, the songs we love to hear, to movies we love to watch, the books we love to read... Generally, they seem inconsequential. We never stop to wonder how much they mean to us.
Of course, there are bigger things too... The people we love, the places we are comfortable at, the work we do (whether we love it or hate it).
All this seems to be a jumble of thoughts, right? Is there a point to this post?
Yes. The very first sentence of this post - they make us who we are! These choices, preferences, quirks - whatever you want to call them - they are a part of us.
They do change over time, of course. Some get added, some removed. These changes - some happen subconsciously. But, some we change intentionally!
Yes, sometimes, we intentionally, against our own better judgement, go out of our way to change our habits. Mostly (hopefully) it is inconsequential things. Like changing a perfume because your roommate didn't like roses. Or, the brand of orange juice, because your sibling preferred another.
But, it's the other times that hurt! The times when you feel like you are cutting a part of yourself out. Times when it feels like you are shutting a small bit of yourself up in a jar somewhere. Times when you feel like you are killing a bit of yourself, by giving up something you love, for someone you love!
Love - the beginning of all problems, and the solution to them too. And, I don't just mean it in the "couple"-ey sense..
Out of love your parents, you may stop yourself from going on a sky-diving expedition (or something else that you would love to try). You stop yourself because it makes them worry. And, you love them so you don't want them to worry.
Out of love for your younger sibling, you stop yourself from being reckless (as you would like to at times) or from buying some stupid expensive things. In this case, you stop yourself because you worry. You worry about setting a bad example.
There are many instances. We do this our entire life. Stop ourselves. Kill some desires. Make some small sacrifices, and, some big ones.
But, it isn't unrequited. You know they'd do the same for you... They do do the same for you!
So, why do we hurt so bad when we give something up? I remember one time.. I wanted to go out, but, my mom was adamant that I don't because I had exams coming up. After a lot of argument, I gave in. I went to my room to study. She came in and said, "But, you are upset.", and, I yelled, "I can't stop myself from "feeling", can I?"
That's the problem.. In our heads, we know that they mean the best for us. But, we can't stop ourselves from "feeling" hurt.
All I can say is, the next time I am hurting over giving something up, I will try to remember that the other person has probably given up a lot of things for me too. To get me where I am today!
Comments
Post a Comment